Its Valentine's Day! Woooooo! Well, I say "woooooo", but some more cynical types see Valentine's Day as a load of rubbish. A day manufactured by card companies to make single people feel lonelier and make people in relationships feel they have to prove their love. Bah humbug, and so forth.
With that in mind, I thought I'd write up this list to reassure the lonely types on Valentine's Day that love isn't all it's cracked up to be. You need only look at the world of gaming for proof. Here are some gaming relationships that, for whatever reason, just don't work out.
Mario and Peach
Let's start with the big one. Mario... listen mate, just let her go. She's leading you on, chief. For over 25 years the chubby funster's been chucking himself into bricks, eating questionable vegetables, crushing wildlife under his Doc Martens and essentially risking his life just to rescue this dozy lass who keeps getting kidnapped time and time again.
It's clear that he's doing it because he fancies her - who can blame him, she's a classy lady - but every time he saves the day all he gets is a "cheers bud" and he's sent on his way. Sometimes she'll bake him a cake or give him a peck on the cheek to keep him sweet, but let's face it - if she was going to commit she'd have done it a long time ago. Even Luigi and Daisy look more certain to hook up, and neither of them really do much most of the time.