You know the bit in a generic cop drama where the hard-bitten inspector (you know the type: bald, angry, probably called 'Bootpunch', or something) stares the perp out over a bolted-down interview table and explains the facts? You know, spreads out the contents of a manila file, points threateningly at a grisly photo, maybe bellows a bit? That's this Just Dance 4 review. Imagine ONM with a trenchcoat on. Now you know we're serious.
Let us spell it out for you: Just Dance 4 isn't a bad game. No, shut up, it isn't. It's not an innovative game - it's perhaps barely even iterative - but it's not bad. Ubisoft's titanic dance series may not change all that much, but it knows what it needs to do, it knows how to dress it all up well and it knows how to sell the whole package to anyone who wants it.
The now-familiar mix of contemporary and retro pop tracks, tongue-in-cheek approaches to dance routines (you'll encounter superheroes, a wrestling duet and the Grease tribute act time tried to forget along the way) and that sneaky control system that doesn't actually require you to dance make reappearances.
A slightly extended Just Sweat exercise mode (complete with calorie counter and intensity tracker) and the song-specific lists of Dance Quests - both welcome enough additions - make their modest bows.
There's little else different enough to talk about here, so what it all comes down to is a few basic questions: have you enjoyed Just Dance games before? Do you want more songs to dance to? Do you mind that other consoles' editions of the game (including the upcoming Just Dance 4 Wii U instalment) have considerably more features than this one? Did you murder her? Sorry, that last question was for someone else.
If you answered yes, yes, no, no, then by all means buy Just Dance 4, it will give you exactly what you're after and you'll be unimpeded by arrest warrants as you play. If you're not hung up on a lack of new ideas or realistic point scoring and are happy to prance around your front room, you will enjoy this. That's why it's successful and that's why it'll continue to be successful when the inevitable Just Dance 10 arrives.
So that's the state of things. Did you hear us? Okay, now get out of our sight. These doughnuts won't eat themselves and we have to get this interview table out of the office's disabled toilet.