Did you know that New Super Mario Bros U will mark the 12th time in a main series Mario game that Princess Peach has been kidnapped? When you start counting spin-offs, it gets even worse as Nintendo's leading lady has also been nabbed in all the Paper Mario games plus Mario and Luigi: Partners In Time.
Even the forthcoming Paper Mario: Sticker Star involves a Peachnapping, meaning Mario has had to come to the rescue three times alone this year! We'll answer our own question. No, she clearly doesn't learn. What's more, Mario's reward for rescuing her seems to have got worse throughout the years. These days he doesn't even get so much as a peck on the nose or a slice of cake. Poor Mario, given all the effort he's gone to, you'd think a royal wedding would be on the cards by now...
Here are the 12 kidnappings of Princess Peach. Obligatory warning. Contains spoilers! But, to be honest, you don't need to play the latest Mario game to know what's going to happen at the end. This isn't Inception.
Super Mario Bros
In the days before Princess Peach was being papped for the front covers of magazines, being kidnapped by a giant lizard didn't make the headlines. In fact, we didn't even get to see it happening. Instead, we begin with our Mario in the Mushroom Kingdom as he gets ready to bounce on some Goombas.
In fact, you wouldn't know that Princess Peach had been kidnapped if you started the game without reading the manual (remember those days when people actually used to read manuals?). There we learn that the peaceful Mushroom Kingdom people have been turned into bricks, stones and plants by the invading Koopa Troopas and only Princess Peach can break the spell. But she has been kidnapped by the evil Bowser, King of the Koopas.
Didn't bother reading the manual? You'd have realised something was up when a giant turtle attacked you in a castle and a Toad warned you that the Princess was in another castle.
Peach thanks you for your hard work. It could be that Peach was playing hard to get in the early days but they had only just met. It wouldn't be particularly regal to give a lowly plumber a kiss on a first meeting. Besides, if you know your warp pipes, you wouldn't have worked that hard. It is possible to rescue her in less than five minutes.