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The 12 kidnappings of Princess Peach

Mario has rescued Peach 11 times and the rewards are getting worse

Did you know that New Super Mario Bros U will mark the 12th time in a main series Mario game that Princess Peach has been kidnapped? When you start counting spin-offs, it gets even worse as Nintendo's leading lady has also been nabbed in all the Paper Mario games plus Mario and Luigi: Partners In Time.

Even the forthcoming Paper Mario: Sticker Star involves a Peachnapping, meaning Mario has had to come to the rescue three times alone this year! We'll answer our own question. No, she clearly doesn't learn. What's more, Mario's reward for rescuing her seems to have got worse throughout the years. These days he doesn't even get so much as a peck on the nose or a slice of cake. Poor Mario, given all the effort he's gone to, you'd think a royal wedding would be on the cards by now...

Here are the 12 kidnappings of Princess Peach. Obligatory warning. Contains spoilers! But, to be honest, you don't need to play the latest Mario game to know what's going to happen at the end. This isn't Inception.

Super Mario Bros

The Kidnapping

In the days before Princess Peach was being papped for the front covers of magazines, being kidnapped by a giant lizard didn't make the headlines. In fact, we didn't even get to see it happening. Instead, we begin with our Mario in the Mushroom Kingdom as he gets ready to bounce on some Goombas.

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In fact, you wouldn't know that Princess Peach had been kidnapped if you started the game without reading the manual (remember those days when people actually used to read manuals?). There we learn that the peaceful Mushroom Kingdom people have been turned into bricks, stones and plants by the invading Koopa Troopas and only Princess Peach can break the spell. But she has been kidnapped by the evil Bowser, King of the Koopas.

Didn't bother reading the manual? You'd have realised something was up when a giant turtle attacked you in a castle and a Toad warned you that the Princess was in another castle.

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The Reward

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Peach thanks you for your hard work. It could be that Peach was playing hard to get in the early days but they had only just met. It wouldn't be particularly regal to give a lowly plumber a kiss on a first meeting. Besides, if you know your warp pipes, you wouldn't have worked that hard. It is possible to rescue her in less than five minutes.

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Comments

24 comments so far...
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  1. samon53 Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 11:48

    Maerio?

  2. JamieRIOT Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 12:04

    I think the New Super Mario Bros. Wii U ending will show a door with Mario's hat hanging on the handle.... If you know what I mean?..

  3. toffeeman30 Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 12:17

    I think the New Super Mario Bros. Wii U ending will show a door with Mario's hat hanging on the handle.... If you know what I mean?..

    please explain

  4. Slinkington Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 12:45

    I think the New Super Mario Bros. Wii U ending will show a door with Mario's hat hanging on the handle.... If you know what I mean?..

    please explain

    You'll understand when you get a bit older. :P

    I'm glad it's not just me that's starting to get incredibly annoyed that it's always "Rescue Peach" every single game. At this point, I'd be happy if we had to rescue Daisy. I strongly dislike Daisy as a character, but anything is better than another "Peachnapping." It's definitely overused at this point. Heck, it was several years ago.

  5. shy guy 64 Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 12:48

    i know your sticking to main series games, but lets not forget that peach threw a couple parades for mario

  6. torterratrainer Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 15:15

    JUST ONCE CAN IT BE DAISY!

    on the 8th month of 2012 my peachy gave to me
    some gold coins
    1 credit card
    and a tower to rescue her from once again

    on the 11th month of 2012 my peachy gave to me
    few hundred thousand extra pixels
    2 new modes
    some gold coins
    1 credit card
    and a bank account error that claims wallet rape

  7. torterratrainer Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 15:18

    Just realised peach is leading mario on

    The Cake is a lie!

  8. Kesskuron Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 15:27

    Peach is the most frigid video game character in history

  9. inuyashaDS Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 16:06

    Peach should learn kung-fu or something...

  10. Kyranosaurus Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 16:31

    Peach should learn kung-fu or something...

    Or maybe she should get better security.

    Am I the only one that was wondering why Peach's royal guards hid behind her in Galaxy? :?

    I don't even-... *sigh*

  11. Pyron12 Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 17:36

    3D Land had the best reward.

  12. MartinIsAwesome Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 18:01

    I really couldn't care less that Mario always has to rescue Peach from Bowser. Really, if you're playing Mario and expecting something different in terms of "plot", you've clearly come to the wrong place.
    It's like Roadrunner cartoons. You know that Wile E. Coyote isn't going to catch the Roadrunner - that much is a given - but the fun is seeing how it plays out. In the same way, I just like seeing what Bowser and his minions will do each time to get the ball rolling.
    Seeing all these back to back was a laugh, particularly with the commentary.

  13. imbusydoctorwho Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 19:49

    Seriously why does Bowser always want to kidnap Peach?
    He'd be much better off kidnapping Roselina

  14. tepigoflight Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 19:52

    I actually read the game manuals. I am sure that i am not the only one, right? :?:

  15. shy guy 64 Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 20:07

    I really couldn't care less that Mario always has to rescue Peach from Bowser. Really, if you're playing Mario and expecting something different in terms of "plot", you've clearly come to the wrong place.
    It's like Roadrunner cartoons. You know that Wile E. Coyote isn't going to catch the Roadrunner - that much is a given - but the fun is seeing how it plays out. In the same way, I just like seeing what Bowser and his minions will do each time to get the ball rolling.
    Seeing all these back to back was a laugh, particularly with the commentary.

    to be fair there is a cartoon where wile e catches the roadrunner

  16. LBDNytetrayn Wednesday 3rd Oct 2012 at 20:18

    I actually read the game manuals. I am sure that i am not the only one, right? :?:

    I used to... you know, before they became cheap pamphlets which offered little in the way of useful or even entertaining information.

  17. MartinIsAwesome Thursday 4th Oct 2012 at 10:10

    to be fair there is a cartoon where wile e catches the roadrunner


    The exception that proves the rule. =P

  18. Dancingcyberman Thursday 4th Oct 2012 at 14:47

    Wow this article really put into perspective how many main Mario games we've been getting over the last few year.

  19. shy guy 64 Thursday 4th Oct 2012 at 15:05

    to be fair there is a cartoon where wile e catches the roadrunner


    The exception that proves the rule. =P

    something like that

  20. 9 Times Thursday 4th Oct 2012 at 16:02

    Not only is this 'Peachnapping' thing over used, but practically everyone I ask doesn't actually know the reason WHY Bowser steals her in the first place. The answers either ''Urrrm...I don't know'' or ''To marry her?'' or something ridiculous like that... :roll:

  21. danbish Friday 5th Oct 2012 at 10:56

    The 12 kidnappings of Princess Peach


    What about the Paper Mario Games? She got kidnapped in those too. There's 15 kidnappings right there.

  22. MartinIsAwesome Friday 5th Oct 2012 at 13:29

    The 12 kidnappings of Princess Peach


    What about the Paper Mario Games? She got kidnapped in those too. There's 15 kidnappings right there.


    The introduction does refer to them, but this article describes the main 12 2D/3D Platformers.

  23. smash-brother Sunday 21st Oct 2012 at 15:14

    what's a curtsley :?

  24. Stephen Booker Friday 14th Feb 2014 at 19:17

    Super Mario U Mario Got A Kiss On The Forehead

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