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Facebreaker KO Party Review

This is one party you really should avoid

If you're the sort who keeps hold of your old issues of ONM, have a gander at the cover of issue 30. You know, the one with the boxer getting punched in the face. That was our exclusive preview of Facebreaker, the game that promised to offer addictive and crazy boxing action, the game that promised to be the Punch-Out!! alternative we'd been waiting for years for. Unfortunately things haven't quite worked out that way...

We can appreciate the developers were trying to make a simple arcade-style boxing game which does away with boring technical realism in favour of pure gameplay. Ultimately though, they've created a game which is far too simple for its own good.

Click to view larger image

(Not) Boxing Clever

You have a grand total of four punches available, which can be charged up for extra power. The idea is that fights are an elaborate game of rock, paper scissors where you have to swing punches while attempting to guess and counter the punches your opponents throws. In reality though you'll find that it's just as effective to hold down the Z button (which acts as both a block and counter button) and frantically waggle the Remote and Nunchuk as if you were a death metal drummer.

If you manage to do this for long enough to build up a meter at the bottom until it says "Facebreaker", you just need to hold the A button while swinging to throw a punch that instantly defeats your opponent. Technically, you can win a match in about 20 seconds if you're lucky enough.

If you're unlucky enough to be knocked down, you're 'treated' to a dull mini-game where you have to shoot flying birds which are tweeting around your head in order to gain energy. It's funny the first time, but after that you just want to get up quickly and get on with the mindless waggling.

Punch-Drunk Love

It's a shame because other aspects of the game aren't completely useless. The fighter models are detailed and the facial animations are impressive. There's also a nice selection of licensed music, though this being an EA game that's not exactly surprising.

Facebreaker obviously isn't a serious game and it attempts to make the player laugh throughout with wacky cut-scenes before and after each match. While there are a couple of chucklesome moments in there, for the most part the forced jokes are about as funny as being elbowed in the face.

Even the much-promoted Punch-O-Matic multiplayer mode turns out to be a big disappointment. It's just a slot machine thing which allocates random fighters, stages and game modifications: fight at a faster speed, shoot ducks faster than your opponent and so forth.

Click to view larger image
Facebreaker had so much potential, but what it offers in character and personality it completely lacks in gameplay. This most certainly isn't the Punch-Out!! alternative that we were promised all those months ago, but now that we know the real thing's on its way in a few month's time at least there's still a boxing game in the pipeline that could actually be worth buying.

Comments

19 comments so far...
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  1. GamerKid Friday 14th Nov 2008 at 15:56

    thats a knockout

  2. Ryu5 Friday 14th Nov 2008 at 18:45

    thats a knockout

    OH GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK!

    You obviously haven't read the review properly because one of the negative points is that it "Tries too hard to act funny".

    Humorous dialogues clearly isn't one of your fortés so please refrain from doing such an obscene act again.

  3. Super_Sonic96 Friday 14th Nov 2008 at 21:52

    Hoping this would be good....But thankfully Punch-Out!! Wii is coming so it's not all bad.

  4. super-mario-wii Saturday 15th Nov 2008 at 10:36

    Shame really, i was lookibg for a decent boxing game for my wii. Oh well, roll on Punch Out!!

  5. GamerKid Saturday 15th Nov 2008 at 15:17

    thats a knockout

    OH GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK!

    You obviously haven't read the review properly because one of the negative points is that it "Tries too hard to act funny".

    Humorous dialogues clearly isn't one of your fortés so please refrain from doing such an obscene act again.


    am a crap joker only when i try

  6. ploiper Saturday 15th Nov 2008 at 15:54

    played the playstation 2 version of this, i just button bashed my way to victory. found it alright but far to easy.

  7. Lost Rider Saturday 15th Nov 2008 at 18:28

    Oh well, it made a nice ONM cover at least XD

  8. barford Saturday 15th Nov 2008 at 20:55

    oh, pooeys. :( I just got facebreaker for the wii. I wouldn't have if I had known how bad it was! It's not as good as wii boxing. I'll have to trade it back in.

  9. x-man2000 Sunday 16th Nov 2008 at 01:10

    thats a knockout

    OH GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK!

    You obviously haven't read the review properly because one of the negative points is that it "Tries too hard to act funny".

    Humorous dialogues clearly isn't one of your fortés so please refrain from doing such an obscene act again.


    am a crap joker only when i try

    It was crap. But I still lolled.

  10. GamerKid Sunday 16th Nov 2008 at 11:55

    thats a knockout

    OH GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO BE SICK!

    You obviously haven't read the review properly because one of the negative points is that it "Tries too hard to act funny".

    Humorous dialogues clearly isn't one of your fortés so please refrain from doing such an obscene act again.

    :?


    am a crap joker only when i try

    It was crap. But I still lolled.

  11. WIIexpert Monday 17th Nov 2008 at 07:36

    WHY DO PEOPLE PROMISE SO MUCH THEN GIVE SO LITTLE IN RETURN!!! This game is like "qos" when they said "It will be better than Goldeneye" but that game SUCKED BIG TIME. This game is not, will not and will never be Punch-Out!!

  12. dizzy boy Tuesday 18th Nov 2008 at 04:43

    that`s a real shame this game didn`t deliver. i was looking forward to getting this. oh well.
    facebreaker got poor reveiws on all of the consoles, i bet that must be a huge blow for the dev team on this title.

  13. Shikea Thursday 20th Nov 2008 at 19:51

    WHY DO PEOPLE PROMISE SO MUCH THEN GIVE SO LITTLE IN RETURN!!! This game is like "qos" when they said "It will be better than Goldeneye" but that game SUCKED BIG TIME. This game is not, will not and will never be Punch-Out!!

    you blatantly havnt played quantum
    its the best fps on the wii and has fantastic graphics, those screens are most surely duff.
    just another example of an asanine onm review, 90 for red steel (s**t control s**t graphics)

    52 for qunatum (brilliant control amazing graphics)

  14. Anonymous Friday 21st Nov 2008 at 18:10

    WHY DO PEOPLE PROMISE SO MUCH THEN GIVE SO LITTLE IN RETURN!!! This game is like "qos" when they said "It will be better than Goldeneye" but that game SUCKED BIG TIME. This game is not, will not and will never be Punch-Out!!

    you blatantly havnt played quantum
    its the best fps on the wii and has fantastic graphics, those screens are most surely duff.
    just another example of an asanine onm review, 90 for red steel (s**t control s**t graphics)

    52 for qunatum (brilliant control amazing graphics)

    the thing is, you cant trust ONM they go with the mainstream, they say something is good if people want to hear it is good, or bad if people want to hear it is bad
    or if it has party in.

  15. PsychoPikmin Saturday 22nd Nov 2008 at 14:06

    I knew this would fail.
    It just didn't look as though it would hold people's attention.
    But now it(hopefully)won't,because hopefully nobody will buy it.

  16. joe orr Sunday 23rd Nov 2008 at 19:12

    tut tut tut onm has let me down again they say alone in the dark was going to be great and they give it a crap review and the same with facebreaker! p.s if your short of money and want to see how bad it is, its Ł15 in tesco home plus in crown point nrth in denton manchester

  17. Super_Sonic96 Sunday 23rd Nov 2008 at 19:34

    I think he's gonna knock YOU out in a minute....

  18. DBZFan355 Wednesday 24th Dec 2008 at 15:38

    such a shame

  19. yubel Tuesday 20th Jan 2009 at 19:27

    Im definitely getting this game.
    This looks like my kind of boxing game and those who think outherwise will reaceive a sky breaker! :twisted:

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